Letting go: success

When we are young we have a conception of what we think our life will be like when we are an adult.

This idea is based on what we want out of life and also what we have been taught regarding success. My parents are not and never have been wealthy. By strict income they ate barely middle class. Through smart management of finances, they have often lived a life style that makes others think they are well heeled.

However, success has never been measured by money in my family. My parents, even today, tell me how proud they are of me. So its definitely not money based. Instead its based on strong moral fiber. Compared to many in my generation I’m a sisal rope.

That being said, I’m not financially stable. I have huge debt. My liberal arts degree is relatively worthless and every post-baccalaureate attempt at continuing education I have made has been an unmitigated disaster. I have a job, not a career, and I have very recourse as to finding or choosing one.

This all sounds pretty dire, but this is just background. This is is nothing more than scenery. My life, isn’t these things. My life isn’t these noisy rattlings of my ego. What is my life then? I’m not sure, really.

I guess practice is my life. My life is practice, certainly. Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way it just is. Worrying about what should be is of no benefit to me our anyone else. Living each and every moment as best I can is all can do.

Gassho.

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