So I finally took the plunge.
23 Mar 2011 1 Comment
I went to Dokusan. I asked my teacher to be my teacher.
It turns out Karen Maezen Miller was right (big surprise). In my first one much insight was given.
My teacher is great.
One of the things we talked about was joy and pride.
I tend to be very hard on myself and self-critical.
She pointed out how it's not really following the Middle Way to be so self-critical.
Too much shame is something to be avoided.
The antidote is Pride.
Pride is a much maligned concept in the Western world. However, Buddhism teaches that Pride is something we should embrace, in moderation. We should be properly proud of our accomplishments.
My teacher told me that I should give myself a gold star whenever I have made a good choice (like going to Dokusan, finally).
So I intend to think of that when I have made a good choice. It might help to balance out my automatic negativity, a bit.
All in all, it was nothing like I expected and much better than I had hoped.