Being Alive

It's been a long time. Is anyone still out there?

I've gone through nearly losing my wife and nearly dying since my last post. Sounds like fun, right?

There is value in the the ordinary, unexciting life and, man, do I want to settle into a long run of that just now!

However, I can't overlook the worth of the experiences that I've just had. 

For one thing, I made it through. The wheel didn't turn. I'm still walking and talking in this particular sack of flesh. That's something to consider and be thankful for, in and of itself.

The Buddha taught that human birth was auspicious because it was the only state in which you could escape the suffering of the cycle of samsara. So there's that. I have more chance to practice. If I had moved on, that might not be the case. 

That Practice will take many forms:

1. Spending ample time with and attention on with my son. He teaches me about all kinds of things just as I teach him about the rules of this reality and our society.

2. Spending time doing things that need doing. We (I) avoid work because it's boring or tedious, but work can quiet the mind and provide an outlet for extra energy and release stress and tension.

3. Not avoiding things. For the last several years, I have avoided activities that I long enjoyed because they weren't the types of things that "adults" do. I'm mostly talking about gaming and reading fiction. There were destructive behaviors in there too, such as binge eating, that I intend to keep on avoiding.  

4. Formal Practice. I've long found excuses to avoid formal practice and I intend to stop making excuses and just do it.

So… I never intended this post to become a New Year's Resolution type thing but it kind of did.

If you're interested in what actually happened to me and the story of how I almost lost my marriage I'll be happy to tell you, just not here. 

Gassho.
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