New Commitments and Family

So, the funny thing about an indefinite hiatus is that it can be
short. In this case, it was just one day.

Maybe I was just feeling sadness yesterday at the loss of my wife and
decided that I need to not scatter my energies too much.

So here’s the story since some of you are concerned about me:

I’m fine. My wife and I will be getting a divorce. We will be sleeping
in separate beds but we’re not “splitting up.” There’s no reason to
split up. I love my wife and she loves me. It’s just different than we
thought and even hoped it was.

My family is intact and will remain so.

In many ways, I feel more committed than ever to her and to my son.

We’re going to keep taking care of one another. There’s no reason we
can’t, even though we’re not married anymore.

I’m also committed to myself in a new way. I have myself to take care
of. This isn’t a job for someone else. I don’t have to focus so much
on another person’s happiness. I can just be me and be happy being me.
More importantly I can be ok with being me and take personal
responsibility for ME, not something I’ve ever done before, let me
tell you.

I’m sad about the end of my marriage and that my wife and I will never
be connected in that way again, but were we ever really or were we
just trying really hard to force a square peg into a round hole?

I have learned a lot about impermanence and being present in this
moment from this experience and I will continue to do so.

I’ll be writing again as I have time. Thank you all so much for your
concern and support and I hope that you’ll continue to support my Life
as I will support each and every one of yours.

In Gassho.

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